Still on that boat…

Strawberry blonde in a dizzy world!

The drugs don’t work; they just make you worse…


Well, had to come off the drugs as I was getting worse and worse and it was time to cut my losses. Only another three months down the drain!! The withdrawal symptoms have not been fun; it was like a scene out of Train Spotting. I spent my days in bed. Head and body aching, twitching, feverish, nauseous, just having to stay as still as possible and hope that it would pass. Stupidly ordered a cheese free pizza (stupid migraine diet) during a moment of not feeling nauseous and then saw it several times again. .. Fortunately I managed to time my visits to the bathroom to the adverts during the latest Ken Follett epic. Quite a distraction, the hanging, rapes and murders put my problems into some perspective.

The insomnia was the worst part. Those very long hours during the night where every mistake and regret you have ever made comes back to haunt you. Speaking of haunting I downloaded an audio book called ‘The Woman in Black’…mistake!! I only managed to get through a few chapters and I was scared out of my mind. I was so spooked that mum’s boyfriend Derek’s snoring from across the hall, (normally I want to smother him as there is nothing quite as bad as someone else managing to sleep and being noisy about it) was great. Not only did it reassure me that there was someone in the house no ghost in their right mind would put up with that racket and haunt our home!

Anyway, it’s several days later and I’m feeling more human. I still can’t really sleep but I’m hoping that will come back with a good routine. Part of me was stupidly hoping that all the medication would fry my brain somehow and actually cure me. No such luck, so I’m just left with my original problem of vertigo but now with insomnia too, great!

On the bright side I actually managed to leave the house on my own today which is great; the only minor incident – locking my car and house keys in the car with the engine running, whilst trying to defrost it. Oops!

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5 Comments to

“The drugs don’t work; they just make you worse…”

  1. Avatar January 16th, 2013 at 5:31 pm Snowy Says:

    Glad you are feeling a bit better now. How did the keys-locked-in-car debacle end?

  2. Avatar January 16th, 2013 at 6:04 pm Susan Cartwright Says:

    Found a hidden house key that I didn’t know about and actually found my spare key which was amazing and lucky!

  3. Avatar January 16th, 2013 at 11:03 pm Becky Says:

    Sorry to hear about the insomnia. Though we could do with your help looking after Zara on night shifts!! She is running in every night to our room and waking us up about 3am. Hey at least you can catch up on tv and films…we have to change nappies and attempt to.sleep while getting hoofed in the face by a tiny toddler foot! ouch!! 😉 p.s. Seriously would pay you well for the nightshifts!! 😉

  4. Avatar January 17th, 2013 at 7:17 am Claire B. Says:

    At least it was your car this time, and not some random stranger’s car you jumped in…mind the roof rack! :o) perhaps not the time to bring out the Barbara Erskine book….still here waiting for you for when you feel up to it!

  5. Avatar January 20th, 2013 at 12:17 pm Susan Cartwright Says:

    Ha ha cheers for reminding me of that incident mate 😉

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Who am I?

Was – independent, intelligent (with plenty of dizzy moments), successful, busy, funny (depending on how much Prosecco I and the people around me had!), quite stressed out but overall happy, without even realising how lucky I was.

Now  – ? just a mess really! I was diagnosed with Migraine Associated Vertigo (MAV) eight years ago when my life changed dramatically. It’s a variant of migraine that means I feel dizzy and tired nearly all of the time. If I try and do anything ‘normal’ this sparks of vertigo which gradually gets worse and worse until I pass out unless I lie down for hours, sometimes days. What this means is I spend 90% of my time in bed in a quiet dark room. Normal activities like shopping, walking, going anywhere bright or busy, the cinema even visiting friends who have patterned wallpaper or a gravel drive is a nightmare!

I’m continually trying new medications, all of them with quite nasty side effects (worsening of vertigo, weight loss, hair loss and sense of humour loss to name but a few) to try and find the magic one that will work for me. Fingers crossed the one I’m on now will work, time will tell.

A good friend set up this website so I could become a ginger whinger. No I’m kidding, so people can understand what I’m going through and maybe it would help me to have a bit of a rant. I have quite a dark sense of humour, I think that’s the only reason I haven’t gone completely bonkers! I clearly don’t have the most exciting of lives but I live in a small village with some entertaining characters and I’m always having blond moments (I blame the meds but I’ve always been a bit dappy!). Who knows I may even get better, and I can assure you life will be filled with amazing adventures then!

Scrap that! After zillions of Consultants all saying that they know what’s wrong with me and that they can get me better. Endless drugs and procedures I was finally Diagnosed with Chronic Lyme which was great – until I find out that nobody in the UK has a clue how to treat it. That complicates things some what 😉