Still on that boat…

Strawberry blonde in a dizzy world!

Deja flippin vu


Well here I am again a year later feeling pretty awful wondering if this will be the year I crack this God dammed awful illness. I say crack, just a slight improvement would be quite refreshing. I had the Botox injections nearly three weeks ago. I was so caught up in what may or may not happen after the procedure I hadn’t really considered what it involved. 31 injections into your head isn’t exactly pleasant but most normal people would have figured that out before having it done. I clearly remember having the first one and thinking ‘that pangs a bit – oh well only another 30 to go’. All in all it doesn’t even nearly compare to dealing with MAV on a daily basis. I told my consultant I’d inject it into my own eyeballs if I thought it would do something positive – he didn’t suggest it.


So Christmas has been a bit of blur to be honest, too preoccupied by thoughts about if this treatment will be the one to actually do something. I’m so all over the place I don’t know whether to cry, scream or just drive straight to Beachy Head (as if I could even get myself there!)!


At least you know the JobCentre can always be relied upon to bring good will to all men over Christmas. Threatening to stop my benefits two days before Christmas because I have been too ill to attend a mandatory course is almost funny – I had been kind of trying to tell them this. I did have a lovely Christmas day with my family you can’t beat playing ‘Who Am I?’ after a few glasses of champagne. My lemon tart went down quite well – good old Mary Berry!


Anyway, although life has been extra hard of late I guess I have to remain positive that things will change. Fingers crossed that this plan works 😉


Yes, this is what I now look like – amazing stuff Botox 😉

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7 Comments to

“Deja flippin vu”

  1. Avatar January 7th, 2014 at 7:13 pm Snowy Says:

    Sorry it’s been so rubbish lately! I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you too!!!

  2. Avatar January 7th, 2014 at 10:04 pm Emma Says:

    Sorry it’s so pants. Can you try the Botox again? Keep going and you’ll soon look like a One Direction fan! Xx

  3. Avatar January 7th, 2014 at 11:23 pm Marcus Says:

    I am sure it is very similar to acupuncture really – although obviously you have not had the relaxing energy release. Really hoping this new glamour regime works out for you. x

  4. Avatar January 8th, 2014 at 8:01 am Wheeler Says:

    When I saw that photo I thought it was a child look a like. There is a business in that! I am sure Simon Cowell gets about 10 botox jabs a day. Although that’s not really a look you would want. Take care, keeping it all crossed.

  5. Avatar January 10th, 2014 at 11:36 am Susan Cartwright Says:

    Cheers guys I appreciate all the crossed fingers xx

  6. Avatar February 5th, 2014 at 4:39 am Alice Says:

    Hey lovely lady, have been thinking of you a lot lately, miss you and have my fingers crossed upside down for you! Xx

  7. Avatar February 6th, 2014 at 1:27 pm Susan Cartwright Says:

    Cheers Alice I need all the positive vibes I can get xx

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Who am I?

Was – independent, intelligent (with plenty of dizzy moments), successful, busy, funny (depending on how much Prosecco I and the people around me had!), quite stressed out but overall happy, without even realising how lucky I was.

Now  – ? just a mess really! I was diagnosed with Migraine Associated Vertigo (MAV) eight years ago when my life changed dramatically. It’s a variant of migraine that means I feel dizzy and tired nearly all of the time. If I try and do anything ‘normal’ this sparks of vertigo which gradually gets worse and worse until I pass out unless I lie down for hours, sometimes days. What this means is I spend 90% of my time in bed in a quiet dark room. Normal activities like shopping, walking, going anywhere bright or busy, the cinema even visiting friends who have patterned wallpaper or a gravel drive is a nightmare!

I’m continually trying new medications, all of them with quite nasty side effects (worsening of vertigo, weight loss, hair loss and sense of humour loss to name but a few) to try and find the magic one that will work for me. Fingers crossed the one I’m on now will work, time will tell.

A good friend set up this website so I could become a ginger whinger. No I’m kidding, so people can understand what I’m going through and maybe it would help me to have a bit of a rant. I have quite a dark sense of humour, I think that’s the only reason I haven’t gone completely bonkers! I clearly don’t have the most exciting of lives but I live in a small village with some entertaining characters and I’m always having blond moments (I blame the meds but I’ve always been a bit dappy!). Who knows I may even get better, and I can assure you life will be filled with amazing adventures then!

Scrap that! After zillions of Consultants all saying that they know what’s wrong with me and that they can get me better. Endless drugs and procedures I was finally Diagnosed with Chronic Lyme which was great – until I find out that nobody in the UK has a clue how to treat it. That complicates things some what 😉