Still on that boat…

Strawberry blonde in a dizzy world!

Total fool?


This is my period of having a ‘break’ from the gruelling treatment that is my entire life. A time to get stronger before the next attack of my body with toxic drugs. The only problem is is that I’m feeling worse and worse. It’s almost funny, I have calculated that this year I have spent about 95% of my life in bed or more excitingly on the sofa watching shit shows that my pathetic brain doesn’t even remember let alone actually understand.

I’m pinning all my hopes that this one doctor can help me. Following this protocol like a god dammed desperate idiot making myself sicker and sicker and sicker thinking that it will be worth it in the long run. But just how long is this run going to be because I’m so exhausted? Does the finish line actually exist?

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2 Comments to

“Total fool?”

  1. Avatar March 24th, 2017 at 8:23 am Snowy Says:

    Fingers crossed.

  2. Avatar April 17th, 2017 at 4:43 pm Emma Says:

    It will work Sues. Positive thinking x

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Who am I?

Was – independent, intelligent (with plenty of dizzy moments), successful, busy, funny (depending on how much Prosecco I and the people around me had!), quite stressed out but overall happy, without even realising how lucky I was.

Now  – ? just a mess really! I was diagnosed with Migraine Associated Vertigo (MAV) eight years ago when my life changed dramatically. It’s a variant of migraine that means I feel dizzy and tired nearly all of the time. If I try and do anything ‘normal’ this sparks of vertigo which gradually gets worse and worse until I pass out unless I lie down for hours, sometimes days. What this means is I spend 90% of my time in bed in a quiet dark room. Normal activities like shopping, walking, going anywhere bright or busy, the cinema even visiting friends who have patterned wallpaper or a gravel drive is a nightmare!

I’m continually trying new medications, all of them with quite nasty side effects (worsening of vertigo, weight loss, hair loss and sense of humour loss to name but a few) to try and find the magic one that will work for me. Fingers crossed the one I’m on now will work, time will tell.

A good friend set up this website so I could become a ginger whinger. No I’m kidding, so people can understand what I’m going through and maybe it would help me to have a bit of a rant. I have quite a dark sense of humour, I think that’s the only reason I haven’t gone completely bonkers! I clearly don’t have the most exciting of lives but I live in a small village with some entertaining characters and I’m always having blond moments (I blame the meds but I’ve always been a bit dappy!). Who knows I may even get better, and I can assure you life will be filled with amazing adventures then!

Scrap that! After zillions of Consultants all saying that they know what’s wrong with me and that they can get me better. Endless drugs and procedures I was finally Diagnosed with Chronic Lyme which was great – until I find out that nobody in the UK has a clue how to treat it. That complicates things some what 😉